A year ago a life was lost...
Yesterday as I was in church I remembered where I was at a year ago this time... in mourning for the little one lost. In case you didn't know, we lost a little baby last year at 8 weeks pregnant or so. It was devastating. God decided that little one belonged with Him in heaven and that the timing was off for us to have a little one on Earth. It was hard to understand at that time why God would take the little one from us. It took months of mourning, prayer and reflection on events to realize that God brings good even from tragedies. Here are some things I've learned:
God used this pain and tragedy to bless us and others...
By me going through this experience and being open about it, God worked through it to help others to be open about their experiences too. People I never thought had this happen opened up and talked with me about it and we were able to heal together. I now had extra time to look for work positions, and God brought me the Macy's job...but most importantly I was able to accept a temporary teaching position at a local Christian School. I was able to actually teach! That was something I'd dreamed about and worked hard toward, and God gave me that opportunity for three months or so. It was such a blessing to be able to teach and meet the wonderful staff of that school. It was an experience I'll treasure for years to come. God allowed me to work with at-risk youth through tutoring and gain experience that way as well. All these things I would not have been able to do had God not decided to take my little one early. God made me a stronger woman, a more empathetic woman and showed me that in the midst of tragedy, He is there more powerful than ever.
Every life is precious, no matter how small...
God's also shown Eric and I how precious life is. You just don't know how long you're going to have someone in your life. It's helped us to appreciate and cherish this little life inside of me all the more this time around. We loved the previous baby every moment of every day that we had with it. Every moment we have with this little one is a blessing. Every time I feel this little one kick it lifts my heart and fills it with joy. We'll love and cherish this little blessing for however long God allows us to, and I hope that's for years and years to come.
This pregnancy has been different...
This pregnancy has gone tremendously well as I mentioned before. No major sickness, no back pain (something I was seriously concerned with given my medical history, no major weight gain and other than being tired and sore from time to time...it's gone very well. I am blessed to have a wonderful doctor who believes in the Lord and cares about her patients. I am blessed to have the opportunity (thus far) to have a hospital who supports their patient's choices in the birth process, has friendly staff that love working there and is a calm peaceful environment. I am blessed to have wonderful family and friends to come along side of Eric and I in prayer support for this new blessing in our lives. The timing of this baby is perfect so that my mom can come down and spend some time visiting with us and helping out the first week.
God is the master orchestrator...
God orchestrated this pregnancy to be perfect and a blessing and something we'll never ever take for granted. We weren't ready to be parents before, and God knew that. He knew our hearts and lives and had a plan all along. He had us go through the experience before to teach us more about ourselves and to teach us just how precious life is. We were able to in turn be a blessing to others in ways we never knew we could, all because of God.
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