Moving and Pregnancy

I had quite the thought the other day, lately I have been reluctantly stepping forward into motherhood. Seriously. I have lots of moms that say it is the joy of their life and they love every single day, and while I do love spending time with my daughter, I think this transition period has been hitting me hard. We've been up here for almost a year and I've made adequate process "settling" it's definitely been both harder and easier with a toddler.

Some of the easier aspects of moving with a toddler

• People want to be your friend. Just walking down the street with my cute little lady makes people smile at me and wave no matter where we are at. Neighbors go out of their way to say hi to you, whereas maybe before you hanging out in the middle of the street would seem a bit creepy to them. 
• There are many many moms groups available. Before when I moved I had to fight to find a church group that had people our age in it. Now there are many many more mom's groups to join and that's how I've met the friends I do have currently up here. 
• You get out more. As I said above with the walking, you have more incentive to be at a park or just walking down your own street when there's a little one who needs their energy out. 

Some of the harder parts of moving with a toddler and being pregnant

• No time to unpack. When you want to unpack, they are always there wanting to "help" and creating more of a mess than you started with. Then when you get the opportunity to unpack, you are so exhausted from helping them get their energy out all you feel like is sitting down, eating lunch and watching a movie. With the addition of being pregnant, there are restrictions on what you should and could lift, even though you are clearly strong enough. 
• No time to relax. This goes with the above statement, but basically your life is raising your kiddos. There's no time to veg at a starbucks thinking and planning about the future, things are happening now and whether you are ready or not, you have to be there. 
• No time with the hubs. Moving means no babysitters around that you trust to help you get a date night in. It also means that you are so busy unpacking and setting the place up that by the time you get any time to spend with the hubs, you both are so exhausted you just want to sleep. Then the cycle starts all over again. 

There are many more things, but I think being a planner/organizer is my downfall lately. As a teacher, I like to figure out my day and have it scheduled out. Lately I've barely had time to plan dinner let alone plan a cool fun craft activity for my toddler. Which means we watch a lot of tv and do a lot of electronic activities when it rains. It also means a lot of impulse buys because I don't have the time to plan things I would normally plan. As someone who organizes and cleans to destress, not having time to have my house in order has meant I've been on edge. I am hoping as we transition into this house that on-edge feeling will go away once we're fully unpacked. 

I love my daughter and I love the little one growing inside of me. I do love hearing her discover things for the first time and laughing and having fun. I just want to be so much more than I am, which I guess means maybe I am doing something right? We'll see...

Raising a kid in the tech culture

My daughter is growing up in a very technological age. Both my husband and I love techie stuff and therefore she's been exposed to it every since she was a tiny baby. While I did my best to shelter her from the television, I quickly gave it up because whenever we went over to a relative's house the TV was on 24/7. So instead of alienating our relatives, we embraced the television. Something we think about time and time again, but don't really regret doing. She's learned a lot about the world around her from the television shows and can quickly identify many things while we're out and about and see it in real life.

By the time my daughter was a year and a half we had an iPad. We might have had it before then, but right now my pregnant brain won't let me think about specific dates. She would watch her tv shows on there when we made several long road trips and occasionally when we were going out to eat on the road, we'd sneak it along for her to distract her. She quickly figured out how to turn it on, unlock it and scroll past the apps she didn't use to the ones that interested her the most. I put educational apps on there to help her learn letters, numbers, colors, reasoning skills...etc. I think it's been a great educational tool.

One thing that has been a negative about this culture of technology is that she's learning that she doesn't need to wait to get anything. She has any tv show she wants readily available on Netflix and can switch from game to game by a flick of her little fingers. It's something that is becoming more and more real as she gets older, this lack of patience. So.. I am finding new ways of curbing that.

She seems to LOVE DVD's and I'm learning to love them again too. With a DVD, it's one show (maybe multiple episodes) or one movie and she has to make a decision to pick it and watch it. There's no second guessing, once it's in the DVD player that's it. We only have a few little kids DVD's but that's about to change. I think I'm going to shift from using Netflix and just use the DVD's most of the time when we want to watch a show. That way she sees an end to things, it's not a continuous choice.

Another thing I've almost refused to do is to buy books for her on the iPad. My daughter LOVES paper books and I do too. I am growing my library of kid books every day. She goes to the shelf every night before bed and chooses the books she wants us to read to her and we do. There's just nothing like the feel of paper between your fingers. I know it's becoming a relic this day in age and I will teach her more about ebooks from using the iPad once in a while, but ebooks for her won't be the norm. It teaches her that there's an end to the book as well and teaches her to take care of things.

I also plan on having her help me cook food more often after we move. I think the act of making something and then waiting for it to finish is very rewarding and teaches a great amount of patience. It also teaches that being patient is rewarded with something nice. (Typically... I might not bake from scratch with her anytime soon, I am a horrible baker)

So it may seem backwards to go back to DVD's and to use actual books, but I want to instill in my daughter values that aren't taught in this tech generation while still keeping her exposed to the technology so she's not behind when it comes time for her to go out and use it. It's quite a different parenting battle than our parents had to deal with, but with some planning, I think I might be up for the battle. :)

18 week appointment

Today I had my 18 week appointment with the new doc. I turn 18 weeks pregnant tomorrow. The appointment went well, the baby's heart rate was 140 and we found it right away. I had a good talk with this doc about my desire to do a TOL (Trial of Labor) to hopefully have a VBAC. She was pretty supportive and seemed positive about things. She just reminded me that August c-sections needed to be scheduled in advance and the deadline for that was next month I think. So likely I'll see the latest she's willing to hold out and pick that date. I really don't want to go beyond 42 wks.

I know lots of friends have had babies after 42 weeks and I had Jenna at 41.5 weeks, but I feel I'll be okay if the doc holds out that long. It'll all depend on how I am doing and how the baby is doing medically. I am not about to put us at risk. If I do end up with a c-section, it'll be on my terms and pretty specific. I forgot to ask the doc about skin to skin in the OR, even though I know it's been done at that very hospital. Next appointment at the end of March we'll have our ultrasound, find out the gender and I'll give her my birth plan with the VBAC stuff as well as the RCS stuff. This time, I'll be prepared. :)

Now to figure out if I want a doula and if so, to figure out who and convince Eric to go with it. He thinks the whole word doula is weird, and I agree, it's kinda odd. I don't know how I feel about having someone with us 24/7 as I am more comfortable and relaxed with just my husband. We'll see....

VBAC or RCS?

It's been an interesting day. During Jenna's nap I've been doing more research on births and baby positions and reflecting back on my birth experience with Jenna. Earlier in the pregnancy I was totally pro-RCS (Repeat C-Section) but the more I research and the more I think on my first birth experience, the more I think that I might be a little more pro-VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). I know the V word is a little shocking for some of you, but it's part of the female anatomy and I intend to use the acronym, so don't worry.

My birth experience with Jenna was quite the ordeal. 36 hours from start to finish. Because my water broke after 26 hours (two more than the hospital allows) they were pushing me to use pitocin and to get an epidural, even though the baby was not in distress. The baby was in the posterior position, something I knew because I could feel the numbing pain of the back labor the whole first 24 hours. I tried to tell the nurses and some mentioned helping me to be able to turn the baby, but they got called away and no one helped. I was at a 7 before pitocin and the epidural was administered. I was stuck in a bed at that point and the baby was monitored continuously and was never in distress that I can remember or my husband. Eventually I got to 10 and they had me start to push. Of course because the baby was in the posterior position and I was limited in my movements (and well exhausted) it took me two hours to push her. The nurses said before I even started that they felt the baby was not going to fit through my pelvic region, especially because of position. The doctor however felt that the baby would fit if things were stretched a little more. The baby was only in slight distress when I was pushing, but because it took so long, the doc just decided we should do a c-section and I relented because by this time they had stopped the epidural and I could not control my body because of the natural progress of labor and how hard the contractions were due to the pitocin. So I had my baby, but she was whisked away with her father and I didn't see them for over an hour. It was heartbreaking. They had already weighed her and measured her and were going to give her a bath without me. Luckily I stepped in an insisted on skin to skin time, which I got. I was thankful for my little girl and for getting through the birth, but remembering all that got me thinking....

In doing some research, I really think if the baby had been able to be turned, especially when the labor had slowed, the labor would have progressed and she would have been able to come out. The doctor at the time even said that if the baby had been turned the right way and not had a giant head, she would likely would have fit. When I remember about my labor experience and then read about others who had posterior babies and even some medical research, it shows that in a lot of the cases the labor progresses slower with a posterior baby. I think had I been given more time,and if Jenna was turned the right way, things would have turned out a little differently for us.

Why write all this now? Well tomorrow I go to talk with my VBAC friendly OB about my health, some more about my history and to see if she will let me do a TOL (Trial of Labor) to see if I can do a VBAC before just assuming I will do a RCS. If I end up having high blood pressure, or some other things happen that medically make things more risky, I'll just have a RCS, but I'll have it my way. Which means skin to skin ASAP and B-feeding ASAP and having the baby in the recovery room ASAP. Whatever is safe and medically feasible, I want to happen. This hospital seems pretty open to those things and I've heard of women, in the right circumstances, getting all those things and more.

So if you read this, please pray for wisdom for me and for my OB tomorrow as we discuss this. I am super nervous and trying to shore up the strength to advocate for myself. I wrote everything down so I wouldn't forget things and I'm taking it with me tomorrow too. The more I think about having a VBAC birth, the more I think it would make sense for my family and our needs, giving that everything lines up medically to make it possible. I won't regret a RCS if it's the safest thing to do medically in a few months, but I'll feel better knowing I explored every option. :)

Decisions...

Lately I feel like life has been one huge decision after another lately and the decisions have to be made fast. As a pregnant woman, let me just tell you, it wears me out! Lately I have had to be mom to my toddler, mom to the little one growing inside of me and be on-call for last minute document requirements for the house as well as try and figure out my daughter's schooling for next year. It's like I am working from home, and most times, that doesn't work for me!

I think I've decided to make this blog a more private one for family and friends to read. It just makes sense with all the personal pregnancy stuff and baby stuff I'll be posting on it. So I am working on changing the requirements for that very shortly.

Our new home looks like it's going to close soon, so I am very happy about that. It will be nice to have some stability after having nearly two years of uncertainty and instability in our living and working arrangements. We plan on living here a few years, getting involved in our church and continuing to seek God's will regarding how we're supposed to serve Him. We still feel very called to serve overseas, it's just the when part of that. Do we do something when the kids are older, or now or join a different organization entirely? It's really mind boggling and I am glad God has the answers, because I don't.

Tomorrow I have my 18 week doc appointment. I am hoping to ask her a bunch of questions and really get this VBAC or RCS thing figured out. I am also hoping to clear up the confusion on payment because there's no way I am paying for services before I have them. That's just dumb. (No offence to those who went along with their doc's practice and did prepay their deductible...I just don't feel comfortable doing that.)

Right now.. I am going to write some questions, get some lunch and change the privacy settings on this blog. :)

Laters-
Kristine

Dance Dance Dance!

Taking my little lady to dance with her new class today. She was taking tap/ballet from a different teacher who was great, but my little lady was having issues with the other kiddos. They were all older and more experienced than her so they looked down on her. One consistently said mean things to her, "I don't like her. Why is she here...etc." Plus the moms were kinda in their own mom clique already and didn't seem to have room to get to know me. So I figured it would be best for us to change classes.

Today, this morning, we're trying out the new class. I have high hopes. I guess the kids are closer to Jenna's age. It  meant changing costumes for her, but I kinda hated the costume before, so I really don't mind. The new costume is a bee with a stinger, which is pretty awesome!!! I know she'll have much fun in it. Okay, gotta get myself and the little lady ready to go soon. I'll try to post a picture when I can. :)

Random Realizations...

So I completely forgot that I could post in this blog about the pregnancy. I'd kept this blog to write my thoughts in and then I went and put them on Facebook instead, of course forgetting not everyone in Facebook land is as into me being pregnant as well...me. :)

I am um... 16 weeks pregnant now, although I feel like I am further along. My first trimester I had bad food aversions and didn't feel like cooking at all. We basically had a lot of pre-made or boxed food. Now that I am a few weeks into my second trimester I feel much better. I actually meal planned this week, which is something I haven't been able to do in a while. My body thanks me for it too.

Right now every day at 4pm my body goes into sleep mode. I am fighting it right now by blogging. It's been the strangest thing. I am guessing my body just needs more rest for the baby to grow. I've been super emotional lately too, so I think hormones tend to have something to do with it. It probably doesn't help that we are in the process of buying a house and potty training our daughter. I just like to do all the transitions at once. :)

Lately I've been studying up on VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean Section) and trying to decide whether it's right for me. I've talked with many wonderful friends who are well educated on the subject and towards the end of this month I plan on talking with my doctor about it in more depth. It's definitely not something to take lightly. There's risk involved, but there's also risk involved in a repeat c-section. Then there's the higher risk of infection if I end up getting a cesarean anyhow after a TOL (trial of labor), so there's a lot to think about. Those that know me, know I don't step into anything without fully researching it, praying about it and talking with husband about it. So please don't worry about me if a VBAC or RCS (Repeat C-section) scares you. Just know I am going to make the most informed decision possible and have my doctor's approval.

I am getting more and more excited to find out the gender of this little one. At the end of March, right after we move, I'll be getting the 21 week long ultrasound. I might be able to get a video too so I can show our daughter. She's just as excited about this baby as we are, although sometimes she forgets the baby is there. :)  We look forward to helping her continue to be excited and to love her new sibling. This will be my last pregnancy, so our daughter will be the only one to have the momma is pregnant experience. We figure strongly if we are to have more kids, we'd like to adopt them.

Sorry I am so scatterbrained, I am just trying to write down things before I fall asleep. I'll be more on topic the next blog post. Thanks for all your support!

Love,
Kristine