VBAC or RCS?

It's been an interesting day. During Jenna's nap I've been doing more research on births and baby positions and reflecting back on my birth experience with Jenna. Earlier in the pregnancy I was totally pro-RCS (Repeat C-Section) but the more I research and the more I think on my first birth experience, the more I think that I might be a little more pro-VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). I know the V word is a little shocking for some of you, but it's part of the female anatomy and I intend to use the acronym, so don't worry.

My birth experience with Jenna was quite the ordeal. 36 hours from start to finish. Because my water broke after 26 hours (two more than the hospital allows) they were pushing me to use pitocin and to get an epidural, even though the baby was not in distress. The baby was in the posterior position, something I knew because I could feel the numbing pain of the back labor the whole first 24 hours. I tried to tell the nurses and some mentioned helping me to be able to turn the baby, but they got called away and no one helped. I was at a 7 before pitocin and the epidural was administered. I was stuck in a bed at that point and the baby was monitored continuously and was never in distress that I can remember or my husband. Eventually I got to 10 and they had me start to push. Of course because the baby was in the posterior position and I was limited in my movements (and well exhausted) it took me two hours to push her. The nurses said before I even started that they felt the baby was not going to fit through my pelvic region, especially because of position. The doctor however felt that the baby would fit if things were stretched a little more. The baby was only in slight distress when I was pushing, but because it took so long, the doc just decided we should do a c-section and I relented because by this time they had stopped the epidural and I could not control my body because of the natural progress of labor and how hard the contractions were due to the pitocin. So I had my baby, but she was whisked away with her father and I didn't see them for over an hour. It was heartbreaking. They had already weighed her and measured her and were going to give her a bath without me. Luckily I stepped in an insisted on skin to skin time, which I got. I was thankful for my little girl and for getting through the birth, but remembering all that got me thinking....

In doing some research, I really think if the baby had been able to be turned, especially when the labor had slowed, the labor would have progressed and she would have been able to come out. The doctor at the time even said that if the baby had been turned the right way and not had a giant head, she would likely would have fit. When I remember about my labor experience and then read about others who had posterior babies and even some medical research, it shows that in a lot of the cases the labor progresses slower with a posterior baby. I think had I been given more time,and if Jenna was turned the right way, things would have turned out a little differently for us.

Why write all this now? Well tomorrow I go to talk with my VBAC friendly OB about my health, some more about my history and to see if she will let me do a TOL (Trial of Labor) to see if I can do a VBAC before just assuming I will do a RCS. If I end up having high blood pressure, or some other things happen that medically make things more risky, I'll just have a RCS, but I'll have it my way. Which means skin to skin ASAP and B-feeding ASAP and having the baby in the recovery room ASAP. Whatever is safe and medically feasible, I want to happen. This hospital seems pretty open to those things and I've heard of women, in the right circumstances, getting all those things and more.

So if you read this, please pray for wisdom for me and for my OB tomorrow as we discuss this. I am super nervous and trying to shore up the strength to advocate for myself. I wrote everything down so I wouldn't forget things and I'm taking it with me tomorrow too. The more I think about having a VBAC birth, the more I think it would make sense for my family and our needs, giving that everything lines up medically to make it possible. I won't regret a RCS if it's the safest thing to do medically in a few months, but I'll feel better knowing I explored every option. :)

Decisions...

Lately I feel like life has been one huge decision after another lately and the decisions have to be made fast. As a pregnant woman, let me just tell you, it wears me out! Lately I have had to be mom to my toddler, mom to the little one growing inside of me and be on-call for last minute document requirements for the house as well as try and figure out my daughter's schooling for next year. It's like I am working from home, and most times, that doesn't work for me!

I think I've decided to make this blog a more private one for family and friends to read. It just makes sense with all the personal pregnancy stuff and baby stuff I'll be posting on it. So I am working on changing the requirements for that very shortly.

Our new home looks like it's going to close soon, so I am very happy about that. It will be nice to have some stability after having nearly two years of uncertainty and instability in our living and working arrangements. We plan on living here a few years, getting involved in our church and continuing to seek God's will regarding how we're supposed to serve Him. We still feel very called to serve overseas, it's just the when part of that. Do we do something when the kids are older, or now or join a different organization entirely? It's really mind boggling and I am glad God has the answers, because I don't.

Tomorrow I have my 18 week doc appointment. I am hoping to ask her a bunch of questions and really get this VBAC or RCS thing figured out. I am also hoping to clear up the confusion on payment because there's no way I am paying for services before I have them. That's just dumb. (No offence to those who went along with their doc's practice and did prepay their deductible...I just don't feel comfortable doing that.)

Right now.. I am going to write some questions, get some lunch and change the privacy settings on this blog. :)

Laters-
Kristine

Dance Dance Dance!

Taking my little lady to dance with her new class today. She was taking tap/ballet from a different teacher who was great, but my little lady was having issues with the other kiddos. They were all older and more experienced than her so they looked down on her. One consistently said mean things to her, "I don't like her. Why is she here...etc." Plus the moms were kinda in their own mom clique already and didn't seem to have room to get to know me. So I figured it would be best for us to change classes.

Today, this morning, we're trying out the new class. I have high hopes. I guess the kids are closer to Jenna's age. It  meant changing costumes for her, but I kinda hated the costume before, so I really don't mind. The new costume is a bee with a stinger, which is pretty awesome!!! I know she'll have much fun in it. Okay, gotta get myself and the little lady ready to go soon. I'll try to post a picture when I can. :)

Random Realizations...

So I completely forgot that I could post in this blog about the pregnancy. I'd kept this blog to write my thoughts in and then I went and put them on Facebook instead, of course forgetting not everyone in Facebook land is as into me being pregnant as well...me. :)

I am um... 16 weeks pregnant now, although I feel like I am further along. My first trimester I had bad food aversions and didn't feel like cooking at all. We basically had a lot of pre-made or boxed food. Now that I am a few weeks into my second trimester I feel much better. I actually meal planned this week, which is something I haven't been able to do in a while. My body thanks me for it too.

Right now every day at 4pm my body goes into sleep mode. I am fighting it right now by blogging. It's been the strangest thing. I am guessing my body just needs more rest for the baby to grow. I've been super emotional lately too, so I think hormones tend to have something to do with it. It probably doesn't help that we are in the process of buying a house and potty training our daughter. I just like to do all the transitions at once. :)

Lately I've been studying up on VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean Section) and trying to decide whether it's right for me. I've talked with many wonderful friends who are well educated on the subject and towards the end of this month I plan on talking with my doctor about it in more depth. It's definitely not something to take lightly. There's risk involved, but there's also risk involved in a repeat c-section. Then there's the higher risk of infection if I end up getting a cesarean anyhow after a TOL (trial of labor), so there's a lot to think about. Those that know me, know I don't step into anything without fully researching it, praying about it and talking with husband about it. So please don't worry about me if a VBAC or RCS (Repeat C-section) scares you. Just know I am going to make the most informed decision possible and have my doctor's approval.

I am getting more and more excited to find out the gender of this little one. At the end of March, right after we move, I'll be getting the 21 week long ultrasound. I might be able to get a video too so I can show our daughter. She's just as excited about this baby as we are, although sometimes she forgets the baby is there. :)  We look forward to helping her continue to be excited and to love her new sibling. This will be my last pregnancy, so our daughter will be the only one to have the momma is pregnant experience. We figure strongly if we are to have more kids, we'd like to adopt them.

Sorry I am so scatterbrained, I am just trying to write down things before I fall asleep. I'll be more on topic the next blog post. Thanks for all your support!

Love,
Kristine

New life in mine :)

So it's been a while since I posted on here, and I probably won't publish this until later, but there's a new little life growing inside me. It's 5 weeks old and will be six weeks on Saturday. My husband and I are super excited but holding our breaths and praying for this little one to continue to thrive. We had gotten pregnant in August, but that little one was taken to heaven after a couple of weeks. It was hard because every time we get pregnant each little one is SO wanted, but we know sometimes God has other plans. Because we've had a couple of babies now go to heaven earlier than we anticipated, it makes us extra cautious with this precious one's life.

Our first doctor appointment is on December 21st and we are hoping and praying that things continue to go well until then. I've been feeling a little morning sickness and fatigue, but it's pretty early for that yet. I didn't feel much of anything with Jenna, so I don't mark my pregnancy viability by that.

It's amazing to think that this week, if we have the weeks right, the baby is growing it's vital organs and it's little heart is starting to beat. At five weeks! I really cannot believe the arguments that it's okay to end a life this young. People have abortions beyond this point all the time, and it saddens me at the loss of life. We cherish every week we have with this one and with our daughter Jenna. We are praying that things continue to go well and that we can meet this little one on the outside this summer! Time will tell...

UPDATE: I wrote this post a long time ago and forgot to update it. The baby looked great on December 21st. In January we had a bleeding scare, but I went in and saw the baby and it was doing wonderfully and moving around.

A fresh start

It's almost been a year since we were at Mission Aviation Fellowship and since we're taking a break, I thought it would be nice to revisit this blog a little. I plan on becoming way more active as a blogger mom. I'm hoping to share my adventures in cooking, sewing, gardening and this little life in mine called Jenna. :) 

Right now it's been about two months since we've moved to Washington from Oregon, yet it feels like we are still living down there because we're working hard to get our house ready to sell. If anyone is looking to buy in Oregon, contact us! Most of my week is spent figuring out how to be a mommy with my 21 month daughter Jenna. She's quite energetic and delightful, but it's not easy being a mom. I thought my days would be spent continuing to cook fabulous meals while teaching my daughter stuff from an early age. I had thoughts on how I would parent and what I definitely would NOT let her do early, and honestly a lot of that has been thrown out the window. As a parent you just do what you have to do to get through the day and hope that your child gleans something useful from it.

I'm working on being a more organized mom because I feel that if I can get my act together and actually plan things, it's going to save my sanity and help my daughter progress further in life. We'll see how this works! One thing I thought about before having kiddos was how can anyone afford it? Then I realized over the past almost two years that it's not that you have any more money than before, it's that you learn to sacrifice. Being a parent is definitely learning to sacrifice your own wants and needs for that of your child. If you cannot, you have no place being a parent. That's really the dividing line between those who should be parents, and those who shouldn't. Are you willing to sacrifice your needs and desires for the good of your child? 

I think we all have good days and bad. I know some days I wish I could just go out of the house and do something on my own like read at a coffee place without having to bring my daughter along. Heck, even grocery shopping could be enjoyable without a toddler on the verge of a tantrum. Gone are the days that I could watch whatever on tv or just go to a movie or out to eat with my husband. Now I've got to think about what's best for my daughter, and that is having a mom that is conscious of how her decisions affect her children (child in my case) and honestly... I don't mind it at all. 

In my next post I hope to show you how I used an old pair of pants to make an apron for my daughter. :)  

Someday I'll be the mom I wanna be...

I think that statement is what every mom says one time or another yet I think for me it really rings true. The past year has been a whirlwind and I am barely catching up. Last year around this time we were frantically getting ready to take the technical evaluation with MAF. Time was sacrificed so that my husband could get the flight hours needed and we were packing up the car to drive to Idaho. We passed and then started the crazy process of gathering names and information of our friends and family, starting the process of my husband quitting his job and following our hearts this summer to Idaho again to see whether this was what God has planned for us. All the while I am trying my best to be the best momma I can be.

This summer was wonderful, yet for several hours a day I was away from my daughter. She had wonderful people watching her, so I knew she was in good hands, but she wasn't in my hands. We got accepted into MAF and then the gigantic tornado/tsunami of the support raising process began. From August to February my time was divided between sharing our ministry with people and raising our daughter. It was basically a full-time work at home job with my daughter. She watched more TV than I would like because we needed to work and the time I wanted to invest teaching her things was put on hold. It became apparent that trying to do it all and be the mom I want to be wasn't working, as well as God wasn't opening doors like we thought. So MAF was/is put on hold so we can work things out.

Now, we are moving to Washington for my husband's new job. I am pretty excited about this as it means I'll be able to be the mom I wanted to be. A stay at home momma who can devote time and energy into teaching her kiddos about life. Yes, ministry is going to play a big part, but it won't take me away from the largest ministry I have which is my family. I cannot tell you what a relief that is. I've learned so much over the past few months and I definitely feel that if God leads us back to MAF after a couple of years, I know what I want to do differently to continue to be the best momma I can be.

We'll see what God has in store for our future ministry whether it's still with MAF or elsewhere. :)