Introducing Lillian Harper, the birth story.

I've sorely neglected this blog and for good reason. I've been navigating how to be a mom to two little ladies. It's not an easy task. Getting a moment like this to type is rare. In fact I am attempting to nurse my second one as I type, not easy and right now it's not working. But I will press on and see what happens.


I'd love to introduce you to Lillian Harper Reed.

She was born August 1, 2013 at 1:01pm weighing in at 8lbs 4oz via c-section. 

Hello Jennavieve. This is mama. (Right now my first born just came in and asked me what I was doing. Apparently I have never typed in front of her in the traditional way. I have mainly used touch screens in front of her. What a different world we live in!) Anyways back to what I was doing....

I had tried to have Lily via VBAC but I got Gestational diabetes during pregnancy. This caused my ability to have Lily up to two weeks later than my due date shortened to my due date. So I had to schedule a repeat c-section. I was pretty bummed. When I came in to have the surgery I thought it would be some relaxed experience. I mean many a mom has told me how great it was to be scheduled and how different an experience it was. So I went in with these expectations, I was sorely mistaken, literally.

Eric and I got to the hospital and we checked in. Soon the nurse came back and took me to a little entrance room with a curtain. She told me we only have an hour to get done everything that needs to be done before the surgery and she seemed pretty rushed. Naturally I felt on edge and rushed as well. I got undressed and into the robe and sat on the bed. 

They hooked me up to the monitoring devices and soon saw that I was having regular contractions. The nurses kept asking me if I wanted to still try for the VBAC as they were prepping me for the c-section. It was rather stressful to have to make that decision while in labor and while being rushed. So I decided to go ahead and do that c-section. 

The nurse then attempted to put an IV in me. I kinda hate getting these put into my arms but you figure the nurses do this every day, they should get it right, right? Well the first nurse tried in my left arm to no avail. Then she called in another nurse who was prepping another patient to come and try to get my IV in. I told them that they could use my hand veins if they wanted, but they weren't listening to me until finally they said oh yeah ,you do have nice hand veins. (Um this is what I was trying to tell you!)

During this time the anesthesiologist came and wanted to talk with me. The nurse said she could, but then decided the person had to wait. It was odd. I was kinda in a daze at this moment because there were so many people coming to me asking questions and I was starting to get some pretty painful contractions. Of course they were monitoring me and kept asking me if I wanted to change my mind. 

Once I was hooked up we walked to the elevator to go to the OR. Eric got his scrubs on and I followed the nurse into the Operating Room. There were so many people in there. I think there was at least 10 people in there greeting me as I came in. The room was giant compared to the room I had Jennavieve in. I was getting even more nervous, scared and anxious. They told me it was time for me to sit on the edge of the bed so the anesthesiologist could give me my spinal. 

The lady told me that I should feel pressure, but not pain. If I felt pain something was wrong. So of course immediately when she started I felt pain. They had me hold Eric's hand and I squeezed it so tight. I told the lady I felt pain and the man took over. I felt pain again and again and finally things seemed to work out okay. Soon the team had me lay down on the operating table and they put the drape over my bottom section. 

I started to feel the numbness travel up my body. I also started to feel a burning pain in my chest and I was getting shaky. I began to tear up because I was scared/nervous. I also began to feel pretty nauseous. I told the anesthesiologist how I felt and they adjusted things to help with the nausea, not so much the chest pain. I did feel the sensation of being unable to breathe, but I fought through that mentally because I knew I could breathe and they told me this feeling would come. The surgery was starting.

I felt the typical pulling, pushing and tugging. I asked for the little window in the drape to be closed, but it was still cracked open so I could see the doc's head. That was okay. They told me when they opened up where Lily was and as soon as they did she was crying. The doc said, "She's crying before she's even out!" They brought her out and put her on my chest immediately after they cut the cord. She was able to lay on me while they stitched me up. I was feeling kinda weak, so I had Eric take her and let them weigh her and clean her off in the room. She pooped all over the scale and she pooped again in Eric's arms. I was attempting to take Eric's picture and the anesthesiologist asked if they could do it. Of course I let them. 

The doc and nurses inflated something beneath me to transfer me to the stretcher. We traveled down the hallway to the elevator to the room we'd be in for the next few days.  Once they got me on the bed they put Lily on me for some skin to skin time while I recovered. It was so nice! She even started nursing right away. After a while the nurse took Lily for her first bath. Eric took video of it. Lily seemed to love it and was completely relaxed. Definitely different than Jenna's experience. :)  Lily seemed to be a good eater and wanted to sleep next to me or while being held. 

I'll update more a little later.... but here's the basic experience. :) 

36 week appointment

I've been slacking in the update department mainly because I've been so tired.. Between taking care of my toddler and taking care of some extended family stuff, I've been exhausted. By the time I get to the computer to blog all I feel like doing is sleeping. Which I totally feel like doing now, but I thought I should update since I have more information.

Had my diabetes appointment this morning. For Gestational Diabetes, not normal diabetes, I don't have that. My fasting levels were up in the morning for the past two weeks due to a combination of stress and eating fatty proteins for my night snack. (Milk/Cheese) I thought for sure they'd put me on meds, but they decided to give me another week to get things in check.This means less stress somehow, exercising more after dinner and having more lean proteins at night. Hopefully this combo will be the winner for me. I'd hate to get this close and then have to go on meds right before the end.

After my diabetes appointment I rushed upstairs to get to my growth ultrasound appointment. Because I have gestational diabetes, there's a risk the baby could get bigger, misproportionate, the placenta aging faster and more fluid in there. I am pleased to say that Lily looks great. She is growing fine and measuring 2 days ahead of their projected due date. They estimate her to be 6lbs 11oz and healthy. So so far, me having the g diabetes but maintaining the strict diet they put me on has been helping Lily to be okay. Thank God.

When I was done with that appointment I went out and waited to be called for my OB appointment. The doc was late due to a surprise c-section. I got measured and checked and it seems I am right on track as well and just measuring a little ahead. She checked me and it seems I am 1-2cm dilated and 75% effaced. So who knows...maybe the little miss might come early. However I remember being this way with Jenna as well for a few weeks.

I talked with the doc briefly because last time she gave me a consent form to sign regarding VBAC. (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) I am still scheduled for a c-section August 1st, but the issue was what to do if I go into labor earlier. We decided to go ahead and do a trial of labor as long as the baby and I look good and to try that. It may happen, it may not, but it's super hard for me to consent to elective surgery again when I have the option to potentially not have surgery. I mean why submit myself to that if I might not have to? Given what's happening with extended family, it would be much easier if I didn't also have to recovery from a major surgery. :)

So all in all I am happy about the appointment. I still think Lily will bloom earlier than the due date, but time will tell. OKay I am falling asleep..time to end this and get a nap! I'll try to post a photo of Lily later. :)

32 week appointment

Obviously, I've had many doctor appointments during this pregnancy, however I felt this one was particularly blog worthy. :)

I had to bring Jenna with me. Yes, my two and a half year old went to the doc appointment with me. She behaved fairly well except for when we got in the actual exam room, then she decided we should go. See she is a fan of doctors, but also not a fan of them. She gets weird whenever we are in hospitals and doctor offices because she knows something is up. But did I decide to write this blog post because Jenna was with me? Not really...

The doc went over my blood glucose numbers and agreed that I don't need to take any blood sugar meds right now. Things seem under control and I am working hard. My weight is down, but I am eating healthy and exercising so she said she wasn't worried about it.

We also went over my birth plan, and that is what I am most excited about. She pretty much agreed with everything that I put on my plan. We had the opportunity to talk about how she does things and no matter what birth I have, VBAC or RCS, barring something wrong with me or the baby, it should be able to happen just the way I wanted it. She said that they could do skin to skin in the OR and that if everything was looking good, I could do that. She also said that they could wait to take the baby's blood glucose until after the first feeding, they also could wait to weigh and bathe the baby until I wanted as well too. If I am having trouble nursing, she said they could use the SNS system and that was the standard at this hospital.

She was hopeful that the baby might come at 38 or 39 wks and that maybe we might not have to have a c-section. She agreed to everything I said I wanted for a natural birth in my birth plan and said they had the type of monitoring devices I wanted.

It's just so very nice to talk with a doctor and to have them listen to you! Also to have them be up on the research as well so they agree with what you're asking them to do, rather than be stuck in the dark ages and not agree to anything. I am getting excited! :)

Reflecting

Lately I've spent a lot of time reflecting, I think it has to do with the lack of sleep and pregnancy hormones making me nostalgic or something. But lately I've been reflecting on friends. Friendship is something you have to work hard to obtain and keep. You can't just have friends, you have to meet people, get to know them and trust them then let them into your life. Some people are easier to let in than others and some just aren't the right fit. The past few days I've been kinda mourning the "loss" of easy friendships that I had in other areas of Washington and in Oregon and elsewhere. I am still friends with all these dear people and will be forever, but it's just not the same was it was when we could just "hang out" together whenever we wanted.

Up here it's been work to make friends. Some friendships I feel I need to work at and are more work for me in return. I haven't met many people (only a couple) yet up here that I feel like myself with and feel like I can invite them into my home. Part of that is that we haven't quite found the right church fit for us yet. That is a process within itself that I won't get into yet. But once we figure that out, hopefully things will be easier to get settled into and meet people around our age at our stage in life.

Until then, I go to play dates, go to church and hope that there are some moms who are hoping to connect with me as much as I am with them. It can get tiring being the newcomer all the time, but at least I am learning how to do it right. :)

Week 26 of pregnancy with Lily

Here I am, in the thick of week 26 with Lily. I think with Jenna I blogged every day. I had often wondered why other moms with more than one kid didn't blog like I did, now I know, they are too tired/exhausted to blog. There's simply no time. The time you do get you desperately want to watch that one favorite show, or take a shower, or sleep. I'm going to do my best to blog some more, but even as I type this I am yawning. :)

Lately the heartburn stage has really set in this pregnancy. It seems I can't eat anything without feeling it, which is a bummer. I still feel tired a lot, which I wonder whether it's due to some other health issue or the fact that I am running around almost literally after my almost preschooler. At night I get pains in my hips, back and wake frequently to go to the bathroom. I tend to be a light sleeper, so getting up a lot and then trying to get back to sleep is hard. Plus if I get in that weird awake/asleep mode, it makes it even harder for me to sleep or think straight.

Overall this pregnancy with Lily hasn't been too bad. There was the morning sickness for a while there, and the tiredness that isn't seeming to go away, but overall it's been good. I've decided to go VBAC with Lily and so far barring any health issues, my doc is for it and has assisted on VBACs numerous times. This hospital I am going to is VBAC friendly and I am thinking about hiring a doula (have one in mind) to assist with the birth. Why not just have another c-section? That's the same as asking someone why not just have a major surgery instead of an outpatient surgery. Why should I go big or go home? I figure if I can, I might as well try. So far so good, so we'll see. I won't be heart broken if I have to get another c-section, but if I don't have to, I definitely don't want to.

I think this is as much blog as my brain can muster today..... ttyl. :)

Two?

I can't remember if I posted on here, but we found out that we're going to have another little girl. We're quite excited about it. Her name will be Lillian or "Lily" for short. Jenna is super excited to be having a little sister even though she can't quite comprehend why or how there's a baby in my tummy or when the baby will be here. She's wanted Lily's ultrasound photo with her at times and even wanted me to post it on the wall so she could sleep by Lily. I have a feeling when Lily comes Jenna will be excited.

It led me to think about when Lily does come. Two girls. Two GIRLS in the house. Most of you know I grew up with two younger brothers. I never had a sister to share all the girly stuff with and my mom is wonderful and lovely but doesn't do a lot of the girly stuff. So I never really grew up with figuring out hair, makeup and nails and all that jazz. Sure I dressed up, but ask me to put on makeup other than mascara and well it throws me for a loop. So I am trying really hard to learn and figure out this girly stuff so that my girls grow up knowing how to do it. Or at least when they get to that age we'll try things out on each other and figure it out.

But it's honestly really hard for me to grasp that there will be a baby here in August. I feel so unprepared. Yes, I know how labor might or might not go, yes I have a crib and a car seat so I guess on a very basic level we're set. But I was counting down the months and there's not a lot of time to get things done before Lily arrives, especially since we moved into a new house. I went online to register for some things and I realized that there are actually a lot of things out there that are more helpful than when Jenna was a baby.

I did realize that I haven't set a shower date or anything yet and I hear others have already figured that out. I don't really know who would host or what since it's the second baby and there's always a certain etiquette. I am one that loves to plan and get things figured out way ahead of time. I know it could be at my house since I finally have a place big enough, but I don't know much else. Things like this sort themselves out right? We'll see. My pregnant brain worries. :)

I am looking forward to having two girls around. My poor husband will be so outnumbered. But he's as excited as the rest of us. Until August it's time to plan and dream and figure things out! :)

Ultimate Blog Party 2013!!!

http://www.5minutesformom.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/UBP-2013_500px.jpg

It's time for the ULTIMATE BLOG PARTY from 5minutesformom.com. I can't believe I almost forgot about it. It's sometime I like to do every year because it's fun to check out other people's blogs and get to know them. Plus well...winning things is always nice.

Let me introduce myself for those that are new to this blog.
 My name is Kristine and I have a wonderful husband named Eric and a now two and a half year old named Jenna.
Currently I am pregnant with what will be my second born baby (fourth pregnancy). We don't know what gender it will be, but hope to find out soon! This blog is where I write about my life with my little one and my pregnancy stuff as well as hopes, dreams...you know.. that kinda stuff. Right now we live in Washington State. We just moved up here from Oregon almost a year ago for my husband's job. It's not easy moving and transitioning with a two year old and being pregnant, but it's sure interesting. I like to blog about my interesting days right here. :)


Most days in Washington seem dreary...

But when it's nice, it can be really pleasant to live here.

I've found fun groups of mom friends to hang out with and go on adventures with. There are also a lot of farms here to pick produce. Here's a pic of my little lady picking strawberries:

We've also picked blueberries, squash, potatoes and other fun fruits and veggies. This year we're hoping to grow our own as well. It's never too early to teach children where food comes from.  Once I am settled in our new place, I hope to start the many many many Pinterest projects I have waiting for me. Here are a few:
http://pinterest.com/pin/55450639134429268/


Felt Bandaids


Felt Book


Any many many more things. I also love to cook so I am getting back into making fun recipes I find on Pinterest too. Here are a few I've made recently:

http://arismenu.com/cranberry-apple-chicken-salad/


Crispy Potatoes
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/11/ultra-crispy-roast-potatoes-recipe.html

Chicken, Kale and Sweet Potato Enchiladas. YUM.
http://www.andwhatiate.com/2013/01/chicken-black-bean-kale-roasted.html

There are many many pins I have on Pinterest of projects and things I am interested. If you'd like to follow me, you can @ http://pinterest.com/live4adventure/

Aside from my cooking, baby making and sewing aspirations, my family is super interested in other cultures and helping out as we can. Right now we are sponsoring a little guy from Indonesia through Compassion International. http://www.compassion.com/  We feel it's a great way to help our daughter gain cultural awareness while in the States and to help out a very deserving little guy and his family. I would highly recommend it. We get letters from our little guy and send him letters in return as well as paying to allow him to get valuable enrichment activities and training as he gets older. If you have any questions about it, please feel free to contact me!

My husband and I also are very interested in mission aviation. What's that you ask? Well it's using airplanes to go into areas that have no roads or are virtually inaccessible by any other means to deliver: food, medicine, people and other aid as well as practically sharing with people what we believe as Christians Jesus has called us to do, which is love others and share with them the hope they can have in Jesus. No matter your background, no matter your religion, I think we can all agree that mission aviation is much needed in remote areas to help bring food and supplies in. An organization we're working on joining is called Mission Aviation Fellowship. http://maf.org/  They are in multiple countries are really are saving and changing lives through the use of aviation and technology. I'd highly suggest checking them out. :)

Well I shouldn't make this post too long, but I hope you decide to follow me via the options to the side of the page so we can keep in touch. Let me know that you've visited via the Ultimate Blog Party and I'll visit you too! I love getting to know new people and hearing more about their lives!

Love,
Kristine

Moving and Pregnancy

I had quite the thought the other day, lately I have been reluctantly stepping forward into motherhood. Seriously. I have lots of moms that say it is the joy of their life and they love every single day, and while I do love spending time with my daughter, I think this transition period has been hitting me hard. We've been up here for almost a year and I've made adequate process "settling" it's definitely been both harder and easier with a toddler.

Some of the easier aspects of moving with a toddler

• People want to be your friend. Just walking down the street with my cute little lady makes people smile at me and wave no matter where we are at. Neighbors go out of their way to say hi to you, whereas maybe before you hanging out in the middle of the street would seem a bit creepy to them. 
• There are many many moms groups available. Before when I moved I had to fight to find a church group that had people our age in it. Now there are many many more mom's groups to join and that's how I've met the friends I do have currently up here. 
• You get out more. As I said above with the walking, you have more incentive to be at a park or just walking down your own street when there's a little one who needs their energy out. 

Some of the harder parts of moving with a toddler and being pregnant

• No time to unpack. When you want to unpack, they are always there wanting to "help" and creating more of a mess than you started with. Then when you get the opportunity to unpack, you are so exhausted from helping them get their energy out all you feel like is sitting down, eating lunch and watching a movie. With the addition of being pregnant, there are restrictions on what you should and could lift, even though you are clearly strong enough. 
• No time to relax. This goes with the above statement, but basically your life is raising your kiddos. There's no time to veg at a starbucks thinking and planning about the future, things are happening now and whether you are ready or not, you have to be there. 
• No time with the hubs. Moving means no babysitters around that you trust to help you get a date night in. It also means that you are so busy unpacking and setting the place up that by the time you get any time to spend with the hubs, you both are so exhausted you just want to sleep. Then the cycle starts all over again. 

There are many more things, but I think being a planner/organizer is my downfall lately. As a teacher, I like to figure out my day and have it scheduled out. Lately I've barely had time to plan dinner let alone plan a cool fun craft activity for my toddler. Which means we watch a lot of tv and do a lot of electronic activities when it rains. It also means a lot of impulse buys because I don't have the time to plan things I would normally plan. As someone who organizes and cleans to destress, not having time to have my house in order has meant I've been on edge. I am hoping as we transition into this house that on-edge feeling will go away once we're fully unpacked. 

I love my daughter and I love the little one growing inside of me. I do love hearing her discover things for the first time and laughing and having fun. I just want to be so much more than I am, which I guess means maybe I am doing something right? We'll see...

Raising a kid in the tech culture

My daughter is growing up in a very technological age. Both my husband and I love techie stuff and therefore she's been exposed to it every since she was a tiny baby. While I did my best to shelter her from the television, I quickly gave it up because whenever we went over to a relative's house the TV was on 24/7. So instead of alienating our relatives, we embraced the television. Something we think about time and time again, but don't really regret doing. She's learned a lot about the world around her from the television shows and can quickly identify many things while we're out and about and see it in real life.

By the time my daughter was a year and a half we had an iPad. We might have had it before then, but right now my pregnant brain won't let me think about specific dates. She would watch her tv shows on there when we made several long road trips and occasionally when we were going out to eat on the road, we'd sneak it along for her to distract her. She quickly figured out how to turn it on, unlock it and scroll past the apps she didn't use to the ones that interested her the most. I put educational apps on there to help her learn letters, numbers, colors, reasoning skills...etc. I think it's been a great educational tool.

One thing that has been a negative about this culture of technology is that she's learning that she doesn't need to wait to get anything. She has any tv show she wants readily available on Netflix and can switch from game to game by a flick of her little fingers. It's something that is becoming more and more real as she gets older, this lack of patience. So.. I am finding new ways of curbing that.

She seems to LOVE DVD's and I'm learning to love them again too. With a DVD, it's one show (maybe multiple episodes) or one movie and she has to make a decision to pick it and watch it. There's no second guessing, once it's in the DVD player that's it. We only have a few little kids DVD's but that's about to change. I think I'm going to shift from using Netflix and just use the DVD's most of the time when we want to watch a show. That way she sees an end to things, it's not a continuous choice.

Another thing I've almost refused to do is to buy books for her on the iPad. My daughter LOVES paper books and I do too. I am growing my library of kid books every day. She goes to the shelf every night before bed and chooses the books she wants us to read to her and we do. There's just nothing like the feel of paper between your fingers. I know it's becoming a relic this day in age and I will teach her more about ebooks from using the iPad once in a while, but ebooks for her won't be the norm. It teaches her that there's an end to the book as well and teaches her to take care of things.

I also plan on having her help me cook food more often after we move. I think the act of making something and then waiting for it to finish is very rewarding and teaches a great amount of patience. It also teaches that being patient is rewarded with something nice. (Typically... I might not bake from scratch with her anytime soon, I am a horrible baker)

So it may seem backwards to go back to DVD's and to use actual books, but I want to instill in my daughter values that aren't taught in this tech generation while still keeping her exposed to the technology so she's not behind when it comes time for her to go out and use it. It's quite a different parenting battle than our parents had to deal with, but with some planning, I think I might be up for the battle. :)

18 week appointment

Today I had my 18 week appointment with the new doc. I turn 18 weeks pregnant tomorrow. The appointment went well, the baby's heart rate was 140 and we found it right away. I had a good talk with this doc about my desire to do a TOL (Trial of Labor) to hopefully have a VBAC. She was pretty supportive and seemed positive about things. She just reminded me that August c-sections needed to be scheduled in advance and the deadline for that was next month I think. So likely I'll see the latest she's willing to hold out and pick that date. I really don't want to go beyond 42 wks.

I know lots of friends have had babies after 42 weeks and I had Jenna at 41.5 weeks, but I feel I'll be okay if the doc holds out that long. It'll all depend on how I am doing and how the baby is doing medically. I am not about to put us at risk. If I do end up with a c-section, it'll be on my terms and pretty specific. I forgot to ask the doc about skin to skin in the OR, even though I know it's been done at that very hospital. Next appointment at the end of March we'll have our ultrasound, find out the gender and I'll give her my birth plan with the VBAC stuff as well as the RCS stuff. This time, I'll be prepared. :)

Now to figure out if I want a doula and if so, to figure out who and convince Eric to go with it. He thinks the whole word doula is weird, and I agree, it's kinda odd. I don't know how I feel about having someone with us 24/7 as I am more comfortable and relaxed with just my husband. We'll see....

VBAC or RCS?

It's been an interesting day. During Jenna's nap I've been doing more research on births and baby positions and reflecting back on my birth experience with Jenna. Earlier in the pregnancy I was totally pro-RCS (Repeat C-Section) but the more I research and the more I think on my first birth experience, the more I think that I might be a little more pro-VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). I know the V word is a little shocking for some of you, but it's part of the female anatomy and I intend to use the acronym, so don't worry.

My birth experience with Jenna was quite the ordeal. 36 hours from start to finish. Because my water broke after 26 hours (two more than the hospital allows) they were pushing me to use pitocin and to get an epidural, even though the baby was not in distress. The baby was in the posterior position, something I knew because I could feel the numbing pain of the back labor the whole first 24 hours. I tried to tell the nurses and some mentioned helping me to be able to turn the baby, but they got called away and no one helped. I was at a 7 before pitocin and the epidural was administered. I was stuck in a bed at that point and the baby was monitored continuously and was never in distress that I can remember or my husband. Eventually I got to 10 and they had me start to push. Of course because the baby was in the posterior position and I was limited in my movements (and well exhausted) it took me two hours to push her. The nurses said before I even started that they felt the baby was not going to fit through my pelvic region, especially because of position. The doctor however felt that the baby would fit if things were stretched a little more. The baby was only in slight distress when I was pushing, but because it took so long, the doc just decided we should do a c-section and I relented because by this time they had stopped the epidural and I could not control my body because of the natural progress of labor and how hard the contractions were due to the pitocin. So I had my baby, but she was whisked away with her father and I didn't see them for over an hour. It was heartbreaking. They had already weighed her and measured her and were going to give her a bath without me. Luckily I stepped in an insisted on skin to skin time, which I got. I was thankful for my little girl and for getting through the birth, but remembering all that got me thinking....

In doing some research, I really think if the baby had been able to be turned, especially when the labor had slowed, the labor would have progressed and she would have been able to come out. The doctor at the time even said that if the baby had been turned the right way and not had a giant head, she would likely would have fit. When I remember about my labor experience and then read about others who had posterior babies and even some medical research, it shows that in a lot of the cases the labor progresses slower with a posterior baby. I think had I been given more time,and if Jenna was turned the right way, things would have turned out a little differently for us.

Why write all this now? Well tomorrow I go to talk with my VBAC friendly OB about my health, some more about my history and to see if she will let me do a TOL (Trial of Labor) to see if I can do a VBAC before just assuming I will do a RCS. If I end up having high blood pressure, or some other things happen that medically make things more risky, I'll just have a RCS, but I'll have it my way. Which means skin to skin ASAP and B-feeding ASAP and having the baby in the recovery room ASAP. Whatever is safe and medically feasible, I want to happen. This hospital seems pretty open to those things and I've heard of women, in the right circumstances, getting all those things and more.

So if you read this, please pray for wisdom for me and for my OB tomorrow as we discuss this. I am super nervous and trying to shore up the strength to advocate for myself. I wrote everything down so I wouldn't forget things and I'm taking it with me tomorrow too. The more I think about having a VBAC birth, the more I think it would make sense for my family and our needs, giving that everything lines up medically to make it possible. I won't regret a RCS if it's the safest thing to do medically in a few months, but I'll feel better knowing I explored every option. :)

Decisions...

Lately I feel like life has been one huge decision after another lately and the decisions have to be made fast. As a pregnant woman, let me just tell you, it wears me out! Lately I have had to be mom to my toddler, mom to the little one growing inside of me and be on-call for last minute document requirements for the house as well as try and figure out my daughter's schooling for next year. It's like I am working from home, and most times, that doesn't work for me!

I think I've decided to make this blog a more private one for family and friends to read. It just makes sense with all the personal pregnancy stuff and baby stuff I'll be posting on it. So I am working on changing the requirements for that very shortly.

Our new home looks like it's going to close soon, so I am very happy about that. It will be nice to have some stability after having nearly two years of uncertainty and instability in our living and working arrangements. We plan on living here a few years, getting involved in our church and continuing to seek God's will regarding how we're supposed to serve Him. We still feel very called to serve overseas, it's just the when part of that. Do we do something when the kids are older, or now or join a different organization entirely? It's really mind boggling and I am glad God has the answers, because I don't.

Tomorrow I have my 18 week doc appointment. I am hoping to ask her a bunch of questions and really get this VBAC or RCS thing figured out. I am also hoping to clear up the confusion on payment because there's no way I am paying for services before I have them. That's just dumb. (No offence to those who went along with their doc's practice and did prepay their deductible...I just don't feel comfortable doing that.)

Right now.. I am going to write some questions, get some lunch and change the privacy settings on this blog. :)

Laters-
Kristine

Dance Dance Dance!

Taking my little lady to dance with her new class today. She was taking tap/ballet from a different teacher who was great, but my little lady was having issues with the other kiddos. They were all older and more experienced than her so they looked down on her. One consistently said mean things to her, "I don't like her. Why is she here...etc." Plus the moms were kinda in their own mom clique already and didn't seem to have room to get to know me. So I figured it would be best for us to change classes.

Today, this morning, we're trying out the new class. I have high hopes. I guess the kids are closer to Jenna's age. It  meant changing costumes for her, but I kinda hated the costume before, so I really don't mind. The new costume is a bee with a stinger, which is pretty awesome!!! I know she'll have much fun in it. Okay, gotta get myself and the little lady ready to go soon. I'll try to post a picture when I can. :)

Random Realizations...

So I completely forgot that I could post in this blog about the pregnancy. I'd kept this blog to write my thoughts in and then I went and put them on Facebook instead, of course forgetting not everyone in Facebook land is as into me being pregnant as well...me. :)

I am um... 16 weeks pregnant now, although I feel like I am further along. My first trimester I had bad food aversions and didn't feel like cooking at all. We basically had a lot of pre-made or boxed food. Now that I am a few weeks into my second trimester I feel much better. I actually meal planned this week, which is something I haven't been able to do in a while. My body thanks me for it too.

Right now every day at 4pm my body goes into sleep mode. I am fighting it right now by blogging. It's been the strangest thing. I am guessing my body just needs more rest for the baby to grow. I've been super emotional lately too, so I think hormones tend to have something to do with it. It probably doesn't help that we are in the process of buying a house and potty training our daughter. I just like to do all the transitions at once. :)

Lately I've been studying up on VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean Section) and trying to decide whether it's right for me. I've talked with many wonderful friends who are well educated on the subject and towards the end of this month I plan on talking with my doctor about it in more depth. It's definitely not something to take lightly. There's risk involved, but there's also risk involved in a repeat c-section. Then there's the higher risk of infection if I end up getting a cesarean anyhow after a TOL (trial of labor), so there's a lot to think about. Those that know me, know I don't step into anything without fully researching it, praying about it and talking with husband about it. So please don't worry about me if a VBAC or RCS (Repeat C-section) scares you. Just know I am going to make the most informed decision possible and have my doctor's approval.

I am getting more and more excited to find out the gender of this little one. At the end of March, right after we move, I'll be getting the 21 week long ultrasound. I might be able to get a video too so I can show our daughter. She's just as excited about this baby as we are, although sometimes she forgets the baby is there. :)  We look forward to helping her continue to be excited and to love her new sibling. This will be my last pregnancy, so our daughter will be the only one to have the momma is pregnant experience. We figure strongly if we are to have more kids, we'd like to adopt them.

Sorry I am so scatterbrained, I am just trying to write down things before I fall asleep. I'll be more on topic the next blog post. Thanks for all your support!

Love,
Kristine

New life in mine :)

So it's been a while since I posted on here, and I probably won't publish this until later, but there's a new little life growing inside me. It's 5 weeks old and will be six weeks on Saturday. My husband and I are super excited but holding our breaths and praying for this little one to continue to thrive. We had gotten pregnant in August, but that little one was taken to heaven after a couple of weeks. It was hard because every time we get pregnant each little one is SO wanted, but we know sometimes God has other plans. Because we've had a couple of babies now go to heaven earlier than we anticipated, it makes us extra cautious with this precious one's life.

Our first doctor appointment is on December 21st and we are hoping and praying that things continue to go well until then. I've been feeling a little morning sickness and fatigue, but it's pretty early for that yet. I didn't feel much of anything with Jenna, so I don't mark my pregnancy viability by that.

It's amazing to think that this week, if we have the weeks right, the baby is growing it's vital organs and it's little heart is starting to beat. At five weeks! I really cannot believe the arguments that it's okay to end a life this young. People have abortions beyond this point all the time, and it saddens me at the loss of life. We cherish every week we have with this one and with our daughter Jenna. We are praying that things continue to go well and that we can meet this little one on the outside this summer! Time will tell...

UPDATE: I wrote this post a long time ago and forgot to update it. The baby looked great on December 21st. In January we had a bleeding scare, but I went in and saw the baby and it was doing wonderfully and moving around.

A fresh start

It's almost been a year since we were at Mission Aviation Fellowship and since we're taking a break, I thought it would be nice to revisit this blog a little. I plan on becoming way more active as a blogger mom. I'm hoping to share my adventures in cooking, sewing, gardening and this little life in mine called Jenna. :) 

Right now it's been about two months since we've moved to Washington from Oregon, yet it feels like we are still living down there because we're working hard to get our house ready to sell. If anyone is looking to buy in Oregon, contact us! Most of my week is spent figuring out how to be a mommy with my 21 month daughter Jenna. She's quite energetic and delightful, but it's not easy being a mom. I thought my days would be spent continuing to cook fabulous meals while teaching my daughter stuff from an early age. I had thoughts on how I would parent and what I definitely would NOT let her do early, and honestly a lot of that has been thrown out the window. As a parent you just do what you have to do to get through the day and hope that your child gleans something useful from it.

I'm working on being a more organized mom because I feel that if I can get my act together and actually plan things, it's going to save my sanity and help my daughter progress further in life. We'll see how this works! One thing I thought about before having kiddos was how can anyone afford it? Then I realized over the past almost two years that it's not that you have any more money than before, it's that you learn to sacrifice. Being a parent is definitely learning to sacrifice your own wants and needs for that of your child. If you cannot, you have no place being a parent. That's really the dividing line between those who should be parents, and those who shouldn't. Are you willing to sacrifice your needs and desires for the good of your child? 

I think we all have good days and bad. I know some days I wish I could just go out of the house and do something on my own like read at a coffee place without having to bring my daughter along. Heck, even grocery shopping could be enjoyable without a toddler on the verge of a tantrum. Gone are the days that I could watch whatever on tv or just go to a movie or out to eat with my husband. Now I've got to think about what's best for my daughter, and that is having a mom that is conscious of how her decisions affect her children (child in my case) and honestly... I don't mind it at all. 

In my next post I hope to show you how I used an old pair of pants to make an apron for my daughter. :)  

Someday I'll be the mom I wanna be...

I think that statement is what every mom says one time or another yet I think for me it really rings true. The past year has been a whirlwind and I am barely catching up. Last year around this time we were frantically getting ready to take the technical evaluation with MAF. Time was sacrificed so that my husband could get the flight hours needed and we were packing up the car to drive to Idaho. We passed and then started the crazy process of gathering names and information of our friends and family, starting the process of my husband quitting his job and following our hearts this summer to Idaho again to see whether this was what God has planned for us. All the while I am trying my best to be the best momma I can be.

This summer was wonderful, yet for several hours a day I was away from my daughter. She had wonderful people watching her, so I knew she was in good hands, but she wasn't in my hands. We got accepted into MAF and then the gigantic tornado/tsunami of the support raising process began. From August to February my time was divided between sharing our ministry with people and raising our daughter. It was basically a full-time work at home job with my daughter. She watched more TV than I would like because we needed to work and the time I wanted to invest teaching her things was put on hold. It became apparent that trying to do it all and be the mom I want to be wasn't working, as well as God wasn't opening doors like we thought. So MAF was/is put on hold so we can work things out.

Now, we are moving to Washington for my husband's new job. I am pretty excited about this as it means I'll be able to be the mom I wanted to be. A stay at home momma who can devote time and energy into teaching her kiddos about life. Yes, ministry is going to play a big part, but it won't take me away from the largest ministry I have which is my family. I cannot tell you what a relief that is. I've learned so much over the past few months and I definitely feel that if God leads us back to MAF after a couple of years, I know what I want to do differently to continue to be the best momma I can be.

We'll see what God has in store for our future ministry whether it's still with MAF or elsewhere. :)

It's been a LONG while!

I was taking things over to "Taking off with the Reeds" for a while, and got super busy with ministry partnership stuff, but since that's on hold right now... I have time to blog again! :)

My little one is 18 months now. Amazing. Seriously I don't know what happened. Well actually I kinda do, but it's still amazing that she is such a fun, adorable, clever little one. You'd think with travelling as much as we did in the past year and unfortunately watching as much television as we ended up watching she'd be stunted somehow, but she continually surprises me.

She turned 18 months on Monday and we have her 18 month appointment with the doctor tomorrow. I am curious as to what he'll say. I know I've been amazed at all the milestones she's met. Sometimes I don't even know the exact time she meets them. I just randomly decide one day to ask her to do things or say things and she says them.

Right now she babbles rather than talks. I think that's pretty normal. She can say a variety of words when she feels like it and quite a few animal sounds. I am not really surprised with her lack of sentences because Eric and I don't talk a ton when we're at home. We both are quieter people, so it would make sense that the little one is quieter too. I am making an effort to get her to play groups so she can be around other kiddos, and I think that is really helping things to progress. I am also trying to read to her more.

The other day she surprised me by saying "night night" when she pulled out her Goodnight Gorilla book. That was about a month ago. For a few months she's been saying, "Amen" after we pray with her at night. That's especially sweet. She LOVES the cat. So she'll pull Eric towards the garage and just meow at him to let him know she wants to see the cat. Anytime she sees a cat she meows. I wish I liked cats more! But I don't. Anyone want a cat before she gets way too attached?

Our daughter is a techie baby for sure. She loves computers and gadgets like her parents. Several times we've given her our cell phones and she's either tried to call someone or txt them. One time when she snuck into the office she started writing an e-mail....an e-mail at 1 1/2 years old. I know this type of technical skill would make other parents shudder. But we welcome it. I like that she knows how to turn things on. I like that she is growing in all her skills. We are monitoring things of course, and don't let her have free reign over everything. She knows boundaries, or well... is learning them.

I can't wait until we find out where Eric's going to work next. Then we can all feel more settled. This being in limbo is definitely hard on our whole family. Hopefully we find out this week! I'll write more when I can. It's kinda hard with both laptops down and when my husband needs to use this computer. As great as the iPad is... it's not the same as a REAL computer.

Ten Month Jenna Letter

My dearest Jennavieve,

What a crazy month this has been for you baby lady. It's been full of change for everyone in our family. This past month Momma and Daddy have been frantically getting the house ready and ourselves ready to go to Candidacy at Mission Aviation Fellowship! You've been very patient with us and have been absolutely wonderful. Lots of times Momma had to have you watch Blues Clues or Sid the Science kid so she could get things accomplished in the house. It was a hard time for momma to have to make you watch so much tv, but we got through it!

This past month you've really started to crawl everywhere and pull yourself up on everything. Sometimes you even stand a little bit. You still carry around a toy with you wherever you go. It's really amazing to see your little mind always working. You've determined that you can now follow us where we go and it's fun to see how much you are growing. We expect you to be able to walk by the time this MAF candidacy is over with! You are talking much more also which is fun to see. Sometimes you even use hand expressions. We can't really understand what you are saying, but you are talking to us and we love it.

Right now you are with us at Mission Aviation Fellowship in Nampa, Idaho. We are here for five weeks for our candidacy for MAF. Your first babysitter is a gal we were with at an aviation camp. She hasn't had too much experience with babies, but you seem to like her so that's great. She's super nice and I am sure after this time is over, you'll really enjoy her. I must admit it is nice to see how much you love momma and daddy though when we come through the door!

We hope with the Lord's guidance to make the best decision possible regarding your future. We know that what happens in this next five weeks will affect your entire life! We want you to know we love you and want the best for you. We're excited to see where this road leads us.

Love,

Momma

Jenna's 9 month letter

Dear Jennavieve,

My how you've grown and developed these past few months! We've hit a milestone, month 9! As you get more active these letters get harder and harder to complete on time. I'll try to write one at least until your first birthday, then after that....we'll see how frequently I can do them!

Right now you're napping in the swing, or hopefully going to nap in the swing. Momma needs to get the hang of having you nap in the crib. I must say though, it's nice when you do nap in the swing because you get a good 2 hours of rest at least which means that momma gets 2 hours to do what she needs to do around the house and for MAF. We have a little less than a month before we leave to go to Mission Aviation Fellowship for their summer candidacy. I must say, momma's a little nervous because you have to spend your days with someone else for a month! So much can happen in a month and momma hopes she doesn't miss too much while we're in classes. Momma's also nervous about leaving you with someone we've never met for those hours. BUT while Momma is nervous about things, she knows it's important to trust in God with the things we can't control and even the things we can. We know that God will protect you always, even when momma and daddy have to be in class.

We are super excited to be joining Mission Aviation Fellowship this summer though. Because God's called us to be long-term missionaries it means that you'll get to explore the world, learn about new cultures and learn new languages. You'll also get to see more clearly what it is to really live by faith and how to impact those around you with that faith. We are really excited you are going to get this opportunity. It will be a drastically different lifestyle than the one you've been living the past few months, but we think you'll like it even better.

But back to what's been happening in the here and now! Well lately you've been crawling ALL over the place. Climbing into bookcases, under chairs, under your exersaucer and wherever you can fit. You've also been using your hands to pull yourself up onto whatever you can find and you "cruise" (or walk) along the sofas, boxes, chairs and anything else that's your height. You love bringing a little friend along with you in your travels and often are seen carrying something either in one hand, both hands or even your mouth! You are a very smart little lady and figure out how to take things with you, even when it seems pretty difficult! We are amazed daily at what you figure out how to do! Lately you've also carried two toys with you and sometimes you bang those toys together to make sounds. You love bouncy balls,cars, airplanes and you adore your ride on bike and ride on car.

Momma's been feeding you breakfast daily now and dinner daily. Soon we'll feed you some lunch but momma's gotta figure out how and when to do that. We do feed you lots of snacks! For breakfast these days you have oatmeal and applesauce and for dinner we just started you on meals that have meat in them. It's kinda weird to feed you meat meals out of a jar, but for right now that's what we're going to do. :) You love using your hands and are a good little eater. You get the food all over your face!

You are still kind of a social butterfly when it comes to playing with other kids, but that's okay. Sometimes you think Momma is the safest place to be when we're in a large group and well you'd be right. I know it's hard sometimes when you want to play with a toy and the bigger kids take it away from you. You do a very good job of just moving on from the situation and not fussing about it and I am proud of you. I hope as you get older we can teach you to confront important situations and walk away from not important situations. Even though you are a social butterfly, you do love watching older kids and following them around. I think the younger kids do stuff that you already know how to do so they are less interesting to you. :)

You still love to be in the hiking pack and being outside. I have a feeling you will be quite the adventurer when you grow up. Your daddy and I are excited about that. We'll see how you like airplanes this weekend because if the weather cooperates you'll be taking your first airplane ride when we go camping with friends. You'll be in the front pack on me with your little headset so we'll see how you like that! Hopefully the air pressure doesn't get to you too much and you decide it's okay to sleep in the front pack. :) Speaking of camping...this will be your first camping trip too AND first time at the ocean. We just like to get these firsts all out of the way at one time I guess. I am not sure how smart that is, but oh well! We hope you'll like it in the plane, camping and at the ocean. It's especially fun because we'll be with friends!

Momma has a lot to do, but she wanted to get this letter mostly written before she went back to work. Hopefully I can wrote more later to you and perhaps fix up the grammar in this letter so it flows better. But know that Momma and Daddy love you very much! We are so proud of all your accomplishments and can't wait to see what you do next!

Love,

Momma